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Is Fear Holding You Back?
I get many clients who come to be because they have found that they can't seem to stick with their resolutions or reach their goals and they ask my help in figuring out why and helping them break through their barriers. I thought you all might benefit from the following suggestions and thoughts:

January is over and many people are feeling overwhelmed by those New Years resolutions and goals that they made. Even if you didn't make formal resolutions, most of us seem to use the New Year to think about what we accomplished during the year and what we want to achieve in this new year. It may be a new job or taking your business to the next level, losing some weight, quitting a bad habit such as smoking, paying off credit cards or spending more time with loved ones. For many it isn't just one goal, but a list of goals and hopes that will make your life better. Then, towards the end of January, we begin to feel overwhelmed or disappointed because we aren't moving forward as quickly as we would like. Perhaps this is a repeating theme in your life.

This is a good time to look at the limiting themes that have repeated themselves in your life. These limiting themes tend to be repeated as a result of fear. Fear of change, fear of failure, even worse, fear of success. And maybe that was okay in the past, maybe you needed that fear for a while for any number of reasons, but isn't it time to let go and move beyond the fear now? Isn't it time for you to move into the happy, healthy and joyous life that you deserve?

Do you really believe that you can create the financial life you want to live this year? Fall completely and deeply in love? Receive a big promotion or find your dream job? You know, those things in life that make you wake up with a smile on your face energized and ready to tackle each and every morning in anticipation of the wonderful and amazing opportunities that are coming your way! Or have you put a lid on your dreams, blocked your hopes and allowed yourself to become resigned to settling for less. Less in the current state of your finances, relationships, career and health because you are afraid of failing, afraid of disappointment.

One of the most pivotal steps in improving your life from the inside out is the ability to open your channels of desire and to clearly define what it is that you most want. For many people this is an uncomfortable process.

Because so many of us believe that having unfulfilled desires will cause us pain, we have chosen, instead, to bury our desires to put a lid on them and hide them deep within our subconscious. We may be able to imagine things getting a little better here and there but, for the most part, we are afraid to dream, afraid to believe and afraid to hope.

As children we were free to play, pretend and let our imaginations soar. But, as we grew older, we were told to leave those dreams behind. We were told to grow up, stop playing games and to keep our focus on the real world, the world of "adults". Limit your expectations to things that are realistically possible and that way you won't be disappointed.

As a result of being told this over and over or watching our parents, friends and lovers live this kind of life, many of us both conscious and subconscious came to the conclusion that, in order to be an adult, have a reasonably happy life, and grow up, we are better off not wanting too much and most definitely we'd better not play. We became experts at repressing our desires and burying our dreams. We grew afraid of disappointment and embraced fear and limitation. But remember this: "If you do not think about the future, you cannot have one." ~John Galsworthy

The real truth, the reality of this world we live in is that desire is the life force of energy streaming through us. It is our desires that keep us alive and magnetic. People without strong desires slowly whither away, living only shadow lives of who they were and who they were meant to be. The more we allow the energy of desire to flow through us, the more vibrant and alive we become, the more connected we feel, and life just gets better and better.

So here are some constructive ideas of how to overcome that overwhelmed feeling and move away from fear:

1. If you haven't done so already, write down your goals and if you did write them down, get out your list and read it again.

2. Take another look at each goal and ask yourself if you really want to have this goal at this time. Be honest. Don't keep a goal on the list because someone else thinks you need to do it, or because you think it is the kind of goal you are supposed to have. Your goals must be your very own. Something that is important to you right now. There is no reason you can't add a goal back to the list at some future time when it is right.

3. Review the remaining list and set interim steps towards your goals that help you work up to them. As an example, if your goal is to run a marathon, set the distance goals over time that will build your endurance to the level you need to achieve.

4. Remember the Power of Affirmations. Say affirmations daily!

And if you haven't already discovered this, affirmations are a wonderful tool to help change beliefs and patterns that can get in the way of achieving your goals. I have found that the most effective way to use affirmations is to both say them aloud and write them out. When you say your affirmations out loud, you are giving instructions to your subconscious mind. The subconscious mind gives all messages equal weight and doesn't differentiate between fact or fiction, so giving it more positive input in the form of verbal affirmations works to counteract any negative input we are receiving from others or from ourselves. Writing your affirmations out allows you to focus more clearly on what you have just said, making it easier to create a visual image in your mind.

Here are some suggestions on working with affirmations:

Say and/or write your affirmations out several times a day. When you do this, actually use the moment to visualize what you are saying or writing. Affirmations work best when you create the reality for yourself each time you use them. If necessary, reinforce your commitment to say your affirmations by posting them on your bathroom mirror, your computer, the steering wheel of your car, your refrigerator or anyplace that you have to look at regularly.
State your affirmations in the present tense because your subconscious is quite literal. If you say something like "I'm going to quit smoking." Or "I will lose weight." the message sent to your mind, the reality created is that you will get there someday, but not necessarily now. You want your subconscious to believe it is happening now so use phrases like "I am a non-smoker" or "I am thin and fit."
State your affirmations in the positive. Always create an image of what you want in your life, not what you want to avoid. So say something like "I am in a happy and exciting relationship," rather than "I don't want to be with anyone who makes me miserable again." Or say, "I handle my daily stress easily and in healthy ways" rather than " I won't smoke when I'm under stress."
Be specific. Since your subconscious is an excellent tool for creating reality, be clear and exact about the reality you say you want. Don't simply say, "I have a new car", when you mean to say, "I have a new red sports car with a sunroof and air conditioning and an awesome stereo system."
Your affirmation should make you feel as if you just got a small little electrical shock. If it doesn't make you slightly uncomfortable or make you think "yeah, right..." when you first say it, then you've picked an affirmation that isn't right for you. You've chosen something too easy to acquire. Don't let fear hold you back. But if it makes you feel a little uncomfortable, then that means you are on the right track. You are working to re-program your subconscious mind with new information and positive thoughts. If you aren't getting a jolt then you are playing it safe and letting fear hold you back again.
Revise your affirmations as needed to make sure they fit what your current goals are especially as you move further and further away from fear and your goals get bigger and better.

5. Remember Enlist Support: Many of us are reluctant to ask for help and support, even though we would gladly give it if asked. Don't be afraid to talk to or call a friend, parent, life coach or whomever and ask for support. Support can come in many forms: encouragement, doing something together, talking about how to overcome a particular obstacle, laughing, crying and so on. If you have not asked for support much in the past, push yourself to ask for help now.

I am committed to helping everyone achieve their personal and professional goals and to help you move away from the fear that may be holding you back. So please remember, whether you want a one time strategy session or on-going support, I am here to help you!

                                                                                 Linda Simmon, C.Ht.

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